Monday, September 8, 2008

A Bedtime Story

I realize it is Monday Music Night. However, I'm tired and after the Cardigans debacle of last week I'm not sure that I'm ready to throw my music pearls before you swine. I kid. I'm just tired and I think a bedtime story (I dare say even a fable) is better suited for tonight.

The COCOnut Tree
a fable
by KG
Once upon a time there was a young boy named Kagee. Kagee was a strange boy and he loved music more than anything else in the entire world. One day as he was wandering through town an old newspaper blew towards him as he walked down the street. As the paper got closer it seemed to stop in mid-air and Kagee carefully snagged it and glanced at the front page headline. "Ben Folds Five to Reunite" the headline screamed at Kagee. Now this was definitely news that deserved to be on the front page. Kagee giddily ran from door to door throughout town proclaiming, "Ben Folds Five are coming, Ben Folds Five are coming!"
"Shut Up you crazy idiot!" shouted an old man from his porch, "can't you read?"
Confused, Kagee once again opened the paper and proceeded to read the article and not just the headline. He soon realized that although Ben Folds Five would be playing together again, the reunion would be held in the Far Away Kingdom of North Carolina.
"Good luck getting there you fool," laughed the old man once more.
Dejected, Kagee walked slowly into the forest. What he wouldn't give to make this dream a reality but he he knew that the odds were not in his favor. As Kagee sat down to drink some Yerba Mate and rest a boisterous voice said, "Hey Kagee, why so sad?"
Kagee looked around in wonder but no one was there. Again Kagee heard the voice, "You don't remember me do you Kagee?"
Kagee spun around trying to catch the sneaky voice but again saw no one. "What in the world?" Kagee thought, "the only thing here is this coconut tree," he muttered to himself.
"You're right Kagee, just me, this simple old coconut tree," she stated.
"This is crazy. Coconut trees can't talk..."
"Well I'm not just any coconut tree Kagee, I'm a COCOnut tree and I am magic. Don't you remember me? I used to be just a coconut and when you were a baby you would play with me until one day you planted me in the ground to see if I could become a tree. Well here I am. So why are you so sad?"
"Well, uh, you see there's this special concert and it's my dream to attend but it's so far away it will never happen," Kagee said rather pathetically.
"If you believe it will be Kagee, it can be," the wise tree declared.
"You silly tree," Kagee stated, "I think you are more Nuts than COCO. I'll see you later."
"Just remember Kagee, if you believe it will be, it can be..."
The next day Kagee went to try and secure the golden tickets to get into the concert of a lifetime. Try as he might he could not convince the keepers of the tickets to give him any and once again he left town feeling sorry for himself. Before he knew it he had once again wandered near his old friend the COCOnut tree.
"How did it go Kagee?" the COCOnut asked.
"Not good, I knew it wouldn't happen. It would have taken a miracle and they don't come my way too often."
"You didn't believe Kagee did you? Remember yesterday when I said I was a magic tree?"
"Yes I do," Kagee replied.
"Do you believe that I could get you tickets to the show?"
"Come on COCO, stop making fun," Kagee whimpered.
"If you believe it will be, Kagee, it can be. Take these coconuts," the tree said, lowering a branch.
"Crack them open, do it. If you believe it will be it can be."
"Whatever," Kagee said sarcastically as he smashed the coconuts together. Much to his surprise two golden tickets fell to the ground. "What the?" stated an astonished Kagee. "You really are magic."
"I told you Kagee. Now what would you say if I told you I have the ability to help you fly anywhere in the world."
"Well five minutes ago I would have called you nuts again but now with these golden tickets in my hand all bets are off," Kagee replied excitedly.
"Here, take this coconut," the tree declared, once again lowering her branch.
"But, COCO, those are your last two coconuts... I, uh, I can't take them, then all of your magic will be gone."
"What good are my magic coconuts if they remain on my branches in the forest in the middle of nowhere? Perhaps, I'll be able to grow more coconuts. Don't worry about me, just take them."
So Kagee removed the last coconuts from the tree, gently tapped one and in a flash was whisked thousands of miles away to the land of North Carolina where he enjoyed the greatest music experience of his life. After the show ended he tapped the final coconut and was immediately home.
The next morning was a beautiful summer's day. The plants in the forest were all green and the sun shone down on the singing birds. Kagee ran through the forest until he finally saw the tree. "COCOnut!" he shouted. "Thank you so very much! What can I ever do to repay you?"
"Just don't forget about me, ever, not even in 40 years when my magic is gone," the tree replied.
And Kagee handed the tree some yerba mate and said, "Don't worry tree, if you believe it will be it can be."
The End
I hope that everyone has friends like the coconut tree and I hope we can be our friends' coconut tree whenever we can as well.
Good night my friends, as Mr. Folds says, "Let the moonlight take the lid off your dreams."
Postscript - In no way is this story affiliated with "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein. This is a work of pure fiction. Any similarities to the Giving Tree are purely coincidental. I swear.


Corbie said...

So, I laughed out loud at so many turns in this story, I don't even know where to start commenting. But whoever this Coco tree is, you are a good man to befriend her...she sounds like a real NUT. Plus, without a doubt, one day that Coco tree is going to need something (i.e. prayers, food storage, or an old-fashioned prison escape) and surely your skills will come in handy. You have created a work of pure literary genius here...plagiarism be damned.

Marti Christensen said...

Where can I get me a friend like that COCOtree? You are indeed a lucky man. All I can muster up is an old friend that knows ALL my deep dark secrets (the kind that could cuase serious damage or jail time) and loves me despite these things. In fact, I think she loves me becuase of these things. Isn't life sweeter with a little Coconut?

Herms said...

I just don't get it, it's just to vague and irrelevant...who is Ben Folds?

It's a fine story friend I am just suggesting that next time maybe relate it to actual events or maybe some actual life story that you change a little. For instance maybe the tree could represent somebody....

I really liked the part when he crushed the coconuts but did NOT eat them, because coconut really, should not be a food.

I realize that my comments are just working the middle of the road here, somewhere between amazing insight ..and something...more....uh mediocre. (ahem)

Corbie said...

Now, Aaron, those comments were more than mediocre and the fact that we have two things in common makes them dang near magnificent.

First, conconut should not be eaten - it has to be the worst food on the planet next to mayo.

Second, the fact that you used 'to' instead of 'too' when we all know that you know better, simply makes me feel oh so much better myself - I, too, often make this mistake :)

And for the record, I needed to insert your name somewhere in my post because rumor has it you are able to take a joke but I just didn't want to frighten you off with your own letter just yet. If I had, it would have gone something like this:

Dear Aaron, I do not know you but my friend Kim seems to think you are okay and my friend Marti says you pass the test and my friend KG says you married the wrong member of his family. So, come out of hiding and please tell me that you like the Beatles, otherwise I am going to have to tell all three of them that they are very wrong indeed.

Herms said...

I just have too things to say.

1. the Beatles.

2 ...i am never quite sure when to use to, too, or two, and I am surprised that I got "it's" correct.

Corbie said...

I always get its and it's wrong also. And I have to think really hard about than and then. And I have given up on who and whom. So, again for the record (whatever record the grammar Gods are keeping), I really meant that I loved that you used 'to' was like a gift from a benevolent apple tree (that was me keeping things slightly on topic so that flanksteak doesn't have me shot).

kg said...

I'm not sure Flanksteak is gonna care because he's not really with it right now. He's under a lot of stress and he thought my vague story referred to me selling my dog "Koko" so... feel free to jump off topic and mock Aaron's grammar.

Corbie said...

I cannot stop laughing - out loud - so hard that I can barely type this. And now tears are streaming out of my eyes. That was 'too' funny. I say we mock flanksteak then - he isn't even with it enough to defend himself.

Rob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rob said...

I wrote a little something about coconut shells and planting a seed.... that is all. I fail in so many levels. I want to hang out with flanksteak now.