Friday, October 17, 2008

If Lovin' "X" is Wrong Then I Don't Wanna Be Right...

There has been quite a bit of talk around the blogosphere regarding celebrity crushes or people that we all find attractive. I would like to think that I normally only find people attractive that have some kind of substance to go along with their outer beauty (like Wheels - yes I am kissing some butt.) Since it is Friday night and time to discuss things of which we are ashamed and in honor of Mr. Patrick 'Ronald/Donald Miller' Dempsey, I would like to present - My Top 5 People That I Find Attractive Yet of Which I Am Horribly Ashamed...

#5 - Jean Smart

This lady could be my mother. She played the president's wife on 24 a few seasons back and at one point I said to Wheels, "This is gross but I find her strangely attractive."

#4 - Christina Aguilera

The girl is a talented singer but I am not a fan of her voice. I think she oversings and tries way too hard in both her style and her performance. However, when she pulls her skanky self onstage, sadly I can't stop watching.

#3 - Kim Kardashian

This girl's only discernible 'talent' is that she is rich, skanky, and has a large behind. Truly a person that sucks at life. And still I find her wildly attractive. I am so very ashamed.

#2 - Jessica Simpson

Not only is she one of the dimmest bulbs on the planet, she is also dating Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys. Mr. Romo is the QB on my fantasy football team and as a 49er fan that would be like choosing Lucifer to be the captain of your scripture chase team in Seminary. Because of this I hate myself even more for being attracted to Mrs. Romo.

#1 - The Skanktastic Mariah Carey

Remember back when Vision of Love came out and she was an innocent little gal with an amazing voice? The girl who was so talented that she singlehandedly forced Whitney Houston into a depression and dependency on crack? Well what the crap ever happened to that girl? These days Ms. Carey is as crazy as a country day is long and possibly the skankiest singer currently working today. If anyone hasn't seen her legendary performance on MTV Cribs than I implore you to search it out.

What are my conclusions? Apparently I am a real fan of skanks, but if lovin skanks is wrong then I don't wanna be right. Please share your shameful crushes. Your secrets are safe here.


Corbie said...

You put a label of 'skanks' on this post? You have problems.

Mine? Simon Cowell. He does it for me and I can't make sense of it even in my own mind.

kg said...

You know I thought about it and Jean Smart is a classy lady. The label should be 4 skanks and 1 classy broad.

Anonymous said...

Jean Smart IS hot, no matter what her age!

Corbie said...

Jean Smart was on Designing Women and I have loved her ever since. You are lucky you retracted that little tidbit.

How come I am the only one who confesses anything here? Am I the only sucker? Everyone else just comments on the humiliation of others. Well, I have another confession. I love Karl Malone - and I don't care if he can't put together a coherent sentence.

brohammas said...

Karl's grammar is fine, it's the referring to one's self in third person and chocking in the big game, crushing all my hopes and aspirations of youth... twice. He's still the best power forward ever.

I can admit to finding Toni Braxton with her baritone singing voice to be out of this world.

kg said...

Corbie - thanks for always confessing. I'm not sure why people have decided it's more fun to read and mock other people's confessionals. That said, if someone were to mock your choices they would say your first was 'utterly pathetic' but the only thing that could be said about your second choice is, 'corbie gotta do who corbie gotta do.'

brohammas - Karl IS the greatest power forward of all time.

brohammas said...

On a long drive yesterday my mp3 player reminded me of a guilty pleasure right on subject.

I hate myself for liking...
Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas.

I loved the BEP before She came along, but no on else did (Except you Cappy). All they do is add on a little skanky girl with half a skirt and POW BEP are big time.

I hate that.

yet, when no one else is in the car, when no one is looking...
I'm all about Fergalicious.

I am so ashamed.